Medications and a Dr’s role in all of this

The previous posts share some of my behaviors, feelings and reactions over 2 or 3 months, that have in reality been Hell. It was good to write about these events as this is part of my recovery. I too hope that someone else may be going through similar issues and that this may help them seek the answers that they need.

On reflecting over this time the one thing that remains clear is that I shouldn’t have been prescribed the medications I was on. Having spoken to my sister-in-law who is a Pharmacist, I discovered that if I was on a higher dosage, or stayed on them for longer, this cocktail would have killed me. I have yet to see my Dr again since discovering the true effects that this has caused me. I’m not sure how I will proceed, but I will need to sit down with my Dr and discuss how this tragic mistake was overlooked.

I am just glad that I feel normal again, and am able to function at a level that appears to be the norm. I have been back at work for a week, and we have started a major project as part of Mr Rudd’s Digital Education Revolution.

Feel free to comment on any of these posts, as I believe that discussion is a major part of overcoming these issues. I recently read a fantastic article on the needs of someone suffering from one of the various forms of Mental Illness. I will see if it is available on line and post a link to it in the near future.

On reflection

I have spent many hours reflecting on my behaviour of late, and K and I have discussed times in the past (for most of our married life) where I have snapped and become very angry. This is not my normal behaviour but has occurred on a few occasions. I have been known to punch walls and throw things around when angry, though I have never physically hurt anyone.

I have been known to have quite drastic mood swings over very small events.
At one of my previous jobs I shut down emotionally and had to be removed from my Management position, as I could no longer function in that role.

I can also see this trait in one of my boys. This has caused him grief at work and he has been known to storm out of jobs and quit over various incidents. I have been wondering about whether there is some basis for the similarity in our behaviours.

Sunday 12/4 – present.

I still feel really good and K has commented that I seem a lot more stable. I am able to d things around the house and look forward to returning to work whenever possible.

Friday 3/4 – Saturday 11/4

We spent this week travelling to and from Melbourne and spending time with family and friends. We had a fantastic week and I felt that I was in control and didn’t suffer any side affects or have any behavioural issues whilst there. It seemed that stopping the Tramadol had helped the Pristiq to work properly and I was feeling the best I had in a long time.

Monday 30/3

I called my doctor to see if I could get an appointment to see him to discuss my concerns at going back to work the following day, he was off on leave so I couldn’t see him. I then went into work and got confirmation that my leave had been approved until Monday 20th April.

K and I decided that we would go to Melbourne the following Friday and the remainder of this week was spent preparing for and organising this trip. I was to see both my Brothers and Sister whilst there as I felt a need to touch base with my family.

Friday 27/3

I received a call from the intake officer at Maitland and had a long discussion about the events of the past 8 or so weeks. She felt that I needed following up, and suggested that I be given an appointment with a Psychiatrist at the Maitland Mental Health team. I mentioned that I may be going away to Melbourne for a week which she felt wouldn’t be an issue as long as if I felt I was getting into a state or felt I was in trouble that I would seek help from the nearest hospital. I agreed to this.

Wednesday 25/3 – Thursday 26/3

I spent the days at home relaxing, and managed quite well. On Thursday afternoon I went in to work and asked if I could get annual leave under special circumstances an I am normally not allowed leave during school term time. This was agreed to in theory, but would require an audit of annual/sick days available.

Tuesday 24/3

I went in to work to take in my Certificate and a copy of the referral as I did not want to be pressured into going back to work too soon and knew that the Colleges “duty of care” would be enforced by them having a copy.

I spent the day going through our cases and making notes and assigning them to my IT Support person (my son James) and to arrange support for him from our main ICT Services Department based in Newcastle. I also wanted to clean up a bit as the office had got out of control. My eldest Son James and No2 Son Sheldon were both there and commented that I seemed “manic” as I found it hard to find things and put them where they were meant to be. I remained there for the whole day and pottered. As I wasn’t officially working and didn’t need to answer the phone I felt under no pressure.

Monday 23/3

I struggled trough the day at work, and as I felt I would be given some more time off I remained at work and went straight to my 3:50pm Dr’s appointment.

I pointed out to Dr P my Pharmacists comment about Tramadol and Pristiq. Dr P looked it up and told me to stop taking my Tramadol. I had been slowly reducing my dosage as I wanted to get off it (down from 400mg a day to just 50mg), and I hadn’t had my dose for Monday as I used to take it at 2 in the afternoon, and didn’t have any with me. I was given a Medical Certificate for 24/3 -30/3 inclusive, and referred to the Maitland Mental Health team. I was listed at being at risk of harm to self or others due to my behaviour of the prior week.

Saturday 21/3 – Sunday 22/3

I woke up on Saturday morning with my head spinning. My thoughts were all over the place. We had some of K’s family coming over that night and she asked if we should cancel. Her brother had been going through similar situations and I wanted to chat with him o felt it would be good to go ahead. I had a rest that afternoon and woke up clear headed and remained that way for the rest of the weekend. M and I had some good discussions on where we both were at and how we managed ourselves in the various situations.

K and I again discussed my actions of the previous week and I explained that I would need to put some friendships on hold.

When I went to bed on Sunday night, my thoughts again started racing as I was thinking about work on Monday. I found it very difficult to get to sleep.